HSE People - Health and Safety Community

20 ways to annoy people in a lift

1) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
2) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
3) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
4) MEOW occasionally.
5) STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” – and back away slowly
6) SAY – ding at each floor.
7) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the buttons.
8) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button.
9) WHEN the lift is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
10) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
11) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
12) WHEN there’s only one other person in the lift, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
13) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
14) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
15) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up then scream: “That’s mine!”
16) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
17) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
18) WHEN the lift is going down scream “we’re gonna die”
19) IF you are the only one in the lift and someone tries to get in, stop them and say ' sorry there is no more room' then proceed to press the button to close the doors
20) SHOW random people photographs of your family, going “Isn’t he cute!” and “Look, look, that’s my little girl!” etc.
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